Concise-ish thoughts on the problems with the last decade of superhero movies

Concise-ish thoughts on the problems with the last decade of superhero movies

So many superhero movies fall short, but I’ll do these in order of offense / import / popularity. If the comments lead me there, I may point out that some of these films were so forgettable that the offense didn’t even register. They are just a nothing burger of being utter benignity.

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First Avengers movie. It’s opening is so poor I couldn’t believe it. Once the Avengers start assembling, it’s fine, but the first 25 minutes of that movie (until Cap saves the old man in the crowd and makes a solid anti-Nazism speech) are seriously weak for one of the most important things to ever happen to cinema. Even after Cap’ reminds us of the importance of freedom, the movie returns to being both too dark to see and too boring to care what’s going on given all the irrational behavior.

Captain America: the First Avenger is a boring, unmoving movie. I’d make his back story a flashback in Avengers and cut that movie outright.

All of the Ant-Man movies are skippable. That’s a problem. Marvel has wasted ~8 hours of my life, because each of those movies was remarkably inconsequential. Love Paul Rudd, but those movies should go somewhere. What if we had a Hawkeye, early Black Panther 2, and Doctor Strange 2 instead?

Wonder Woman 2: Trevor should have stayed dead and we should have had more Greek gods. Take the bad guys from Shazam 2 and put them in Wonder Woman 2, then have that movie taking place in Europe.

Black Panther needed better CGI. Otherwise, it was fine. I wanted it to be so much better. And while the ending sets up for meaningful in-universe changes among poor Blacks, this goes no where.

Batman V Superman: First of many DC films ruined in the edit. Theatrical was no more than a 6/10 (it’s literally in the wrong order); the better edition was much closer to 8/10, but I think we needed more universe first. Given what’s here, Batman is well characterized at the start of the movie, but Superman’s current state is lacking. Another Man of Steel film, really painting the picture of Superman as savior - by saving the world from someone that’s not Kryptonian (maybe papa Lex? or the crew of ineffable dimension masters [Mxyzptlk]? or Bizarro)  - could’ve delivered that instead of a slo-mo Jesus-imagery montage. Also, the hinted “Death in the Family” would have been a great Batfleck film. Would’ve traded Suicide Squad for that. (Oh, and they shouldn’t have shoved BvS and Death of Superman into one film, but it’s better in the extended cut. While we’re on the topic, more Trinity movies would have built a better universe, nixing the Suicide Squad fascination for any better team in the DC universe).

Suicide Squad: most menacing Joker wasted with a bad edit. Good firefights. Finale was poorly staged and not given enough time. Movie tried to do too much. Harley and Deadshot are clearly the main characters, but the latter doesn’t get enough independent screen time to develop. Fixes: Trim the superfluous introductions, kill someone we care about (Croc? not the no-name Ripcord), do something that makes us care about their survival while Task Force X does what it does best: face ridiculous odds, extract-and-or-execute, and get out. Maybe make us lose someone we like on the extraction (maybe Boomerang has a good character moment?) portion of that formula.

Justice League: best chance and casting wasted on a bad edit. Both the right time for a Marvel vs DC (today, people are tired of Marvel’s superhero comedies) but DC hadn’t done the universe building. Should’ve been the Snyder cut, released in two parts, splitting the Snyder cut at the second fade to black (if memory serves). DC / WB was impatient and we’ve all suffered for it.

• Update May 17th: in their recent earnings call, WB exec realizes that he’s sitting on a gold mine and DC could be a cash cow if well taken care of. How novel? An exec that gets in touch with reality.

The Suicide Squad: this was fine. Better than the first one (because the ensemble was more clearly the point this time) but still lacked substance. Peacemaker’s betrayal being rewarded with a streaming series makes no sense to me, and I don’t like John Cena enough to want to find out why he has a show. Capped at a 7/10.

Eternals: cut the “romance” scenes, have more conversations (because several seemed like they were going somewhere, but Zhao didn’t have time for it), make Salma Hayek & Thena’s death more impactful. Or just do the plot from Eternals vol 3 (Gaimann’s run). That was character driven, ensemble cast, and got to have the superhero bits without a big budget.

Incredibles 2: good movie (Still think it’s a 8.5/10) but a few things hold it back.

• Big bad: Something more interesting that brainwashing the (Incredibles) Trinity for the finale
• Bob’s at-home struggles: Jack Jack is great, but we already saw Bob struggle with inadequacy. Playing it for laughs this time doesn’t make it more substantial. We could have seen a two-income household, where Bob has to work a day job while his wife gets to be a super hero, rather than just reversing who’s “stay at home”. We could have seen more of the political angle that BvS and Civil War pretended to take on.
• I liked seeing the bad Trinity’s increase in power (suggesting their goodness holds them back) but the kids weren’t much stronger. I’d hoped more time would have passed and we would have seen a full force super family. Don’t need to go all the way to Invincible, but with this new license (which is now done) I think it was a missed opportunity.

Thor, The Dark World, and Love and Thunder: These are not good movies. The Dark World was interesting, lore-wise, as I recall it, but the movie is ultimately forgettable. Love and Thunder brought up many interesting and compelling ideas and didn’t execute well on most of them, while also regressing on Thor’s character growth again; the depiction of Jane Foster’s Thor: Goddess of Thunder was excellent, and is the only reason I will rewatch this movie. Some of those compelling ideas:

• What are the parameters of godhood in the MCU? (This is decently defined in the comics, as there are gods, Celestials, godlikes (the on-screen Eternals and Galactus fall here), the unkillable/undying [Thanos], hard-to-kills with egos) 
  • We should know what gods do, generally how they get their powers.
  • Could have been a good plug for modern atheism commentary or decline in religiosity
• Can gods actually die?
  • Godkiller sword says “yes”
  • Brawl during the regular meeting of the gods says “yes” (Thor punches dudes into golden dust)
  • Post-credit scene says no. (Zues is alive, being nursed to health by his entourage) 
• Are Asgardians actually gods or just godlike?
  • Did Jane Foster actually get promoted, or is the depicted Valhalla a special “other place”?
• The general trade-offs to super powered recklessness
  • Be it gods or not.
  • We got a pinch of this with Avengers 2 / Civil War, but not much more
• The heart of the universe is now stuck in a 7(?) year old girl’s body, and is just going to go on happily? That doesn’t work in Marvel comics, where’s the justification?

There are other, milder offenders (e.g. the aforementioned Marvel Civil War, the Iron Man sequels)